helps the medicine go down. Whether we realize it or not ... we are swallowing (or giving) sugar with the medicine we take (or give). Sometimes, however, the "medicine" may be more toxic than healing. You know, the whole, "My neighbor is such a sweet person, but she ......"; "I love him to pieces, but sometimes he...."; "I really am grateful for all I have been given, but...."; "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that, but....". Maybe I'm being a little too heavy handed with anecdotes and analogies. Humor me, por favor? Thanks.
I have come to realize that "but" is rarely followed by something positive and uplifting. Beyond that, it seems like saying a general and vague positive thing about someone makes people think that they have carte blanche to say as many negative things they can think of about that same person - all while getting a free pass with no guilt attached. I am definitely not innocent of offending in this department, yet I have truly made an effort to watch my tongue and be mindful of what I say.
Perhaps it is my profession, but I make a point to not say something unless I truly mean it. Words can hurt - even words with good intentions can turn ugly and deliver unintended wounds. The difficult truth, when delivered with love and discretion, can be the best tool to bridging a gap, righting a wrong, or communicating feelings. That being said, spreading an ugly truth can be just as spiteful or sinful as starting or spreading a rumor. While imperfect, I am beginning to master watching my own tongue. The next step to this constant work in progress is to be mindful of what I am taking in - to be mindful enough of the destructive nature of some words that I ask that they not be passed along to me.
I try to limit my sugar intake but, in this case, perhaps I will begin asking for the sweet stuff a la carte - hold the spite.