Monday, December 12, 2011


I might post on Facebook about an amazing dinner that I made with appetizers, sauces from scratch, and a dessert that would put a pastry chef to shame - but that will mean that nearly every other night that week I punted by making grilled cheese sandwiches, breakfast for dinner, or something else that took nearly no effort! I might have posted pictures from my son's first birthday with a three tiered cake, a homemade banner with his name, handmade party favors, food for 30+, and decorations to the hilt - but I learned that spending that much time and money on a child's party is absolutely ridiculous and ensures that I, the mother of the honored guest, will be so stressed that I can't revel in the blessed day with my precious child (never again). I might "check in" at a restaurant with my hubby making some think that we are the perfect couple who finds time to date each other and keep the romance alive - but the reality is that my man is so busy with grad-school that we barely see each other and, when we do, it is usually with a poopy diaper in my hand, my hair in a pony-tail while I don sweatpants, and a peck is pretty much all that can be slid by before Robby has to lock himself in another room to study.

I think you get the picture. :)  What is that little saying? Oh yes, "Don't judge a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes"...or something to that effect. Well I'd like to coin my own phrase, "Don't paint your shoes to be four-inch Luis Vuittons which make your neighbors swoon with envy when, in fact, you rock your Toms every night of the week until the cameras are out."

I think we all have compared ourselves to each other at one point or another, and you know the old adage: You are your own worst critic. I think that a problem in our culture is also this: we hide our true selves behind the pictures we paint. I am not saying we each have to own up to all our bad habits, post pictures of ourselves without makeup on, sing our weight digits from the rooftops, and chronicle every tiff we get in with our significant other. But, it also isn't necessary to try and paint a picture that we hand-make every child's stocking, bake on a daily basis, have all of our laundry done and folded at any given time, and always look like the picture of perfection when our husbands walk in the door. (No - I don't practice polygamy - I am trying to garner your support be referring to you if we are together in this. Clever. I know.)  

What is the problem with these beautiful pictures we paint? They make others believe that we can - and do - do it all. It has become more and more apparent that our culture is plagued with women who are trying to be the perfect everything (and to put off that image) and then become depressed or get down on themselves when they aren't keeping up with the picture of perfection next door. This is a whole new era of Keeping Up With the know?

No one can do it all. I can't work full time, be a perfect homemaker, an always cheerful wife and mother, a chef, a seamstress, etc. Can I try my hardest to get things done and be happy in the process? Yes. Should I prioritize my life and try to focus on what is truly important? Most definitely. I guess I am saying that we all need to be a bit more real. You know? To portray our own realities a little more often.

I make a point to dress my son like a little GQ model but I STINK at staying on top of the laundry - I swear that there is always a massive pile waiting for me and giving me the evil eye. I coupon clipped with the best of them and even taught classes - until that ball had to be dropped so that I could focus on other things that weren't getting done. I am confessing my imperfections in the hopes that those of you who appear to me to have it ALL together will do the same - making us all feel a little bit better with what we actually ARE accomplishing.



  1. Mothering is the most competitive sport I know. And I came into it not knowing that it was even a sport!
    My confession: I am superwoman for about 2-3 weeks, on top of it all. And then, I crash and let the laundry pile up and the frozen dinners come out. Sometimes it only lasts a week, sometimes it lasts close to a month (gasp, that was hard to admit!)
    I am a stay at home mom, no outside job and I STILL have endless piles of laundry, we are constantly struggling with learning obedience, I haven't even decorated my Christmas tree, it sits naked in my front window. AND, I'm okay with it. My New Years Res, for 2012, is to enjoy the ride. Not worry about the sticky kitchen floor, the piles of never ending laundry, or the fact that I have months left until my hubs is done with school and we can actually see him more than twice a week. This is the first time in my life that I have been able to let the mess continue (not anything like hoarders, thank heavens) and enjoy my life. The mess (or whatever your confession is) will most likely always be there, the moments won't.
    Thanks for this post, I needed it!

  2. Rachel, I loved your comment. I think I will share in your resolution for 2012. So long as we don't need 1-800-JUNK to come in with a "professional organizer" I think that we can breathe and play with out sweet boys and let the mess wait until later!

  3. I couldn't agree more! One of the best things about moving away from Utah for a while, is that there isn't the same type of pressure and competitive vibe you get in Utah. I'd always heard of this, but never believed it. People go to the store in the pajamas and no one bats an eye. I really hope that the competition dies down and people realize that we're all just human and we're all doing the best we can to take care of our families, however that may be. Love the post!